A Merry Irish Christmas Greeting

The Widow's Might

In pondering the messages of General Conference today, the overall theme I took away was: you can't choose your circumstances, you can only choose your reaction to them.  But I also felt like (especially from Elder Holland) there was a great deal about examining how we see ourselves, and others - and recognizing the reality of how the Lord sees us.  So with those ideas swirling around in my mind, when a speaker brought up the story of the widow's two mites, I felt like I suddenly saw the scene from a whole new perspective.

The story of the widow and the minuscule two mites she put into the temple treasury - is framed in the New Testament from the onlookers perspective.  The Lord with His insight informs his disciples that this poor widow's tiny contribution was greater than all the wealth donated by the rich, because it was all she had.  It is apparent that the Lord appreciated her sacrifice, and that He takes into account individual circumstances when He judges us - highlighting to the disciples that things aren't always as we see them from our limited point of view.  But this time, my thoughts turned to the widow herself. 

What was she thinking as she came forward to donate her two mites?

Was she apprehensive to give all she had, was she worried how she would live and find additional funds to feed her children?  Or did she trust that the Lord would provide, if she gave her all?

Was she anxious about how little she had to contribute, if it would be enough to make any difference in the kingdom, and if she should even bother?  Was she concerned with the reaction of the crowd, would those witnessing the size of her portion, mock, ridicule, and make fun of the insignificance of her offering?  Did she compare her mites with the riches given by others around her, question her worth, and shrink at the contrast?  Did she feel that whatever she gave, it would never be good enough?

 Or

Did she approach the treasury in humility, giving everything she had in faith, to the Lord she loved with all her heart?  Did she stand with confidence, knowing His love for her, and that He knew the greatness of her sacrifice, that it was enough, that she was enough?  Did she care more about the gaze from her God above, than the stares of the surrounding crowd?  Did she feel the enveloping peace of the Spirit confirming that she was known and loved, and that the course of her life, and the size of her offering, was acceptable to Him?


And then my thoughts turned to my life, and my contributions to the kingdom, and how much time I spend comparing my mites to others wealth, or vice versa, and worried about how others are comparing themselves to me.  And how, by entertaining the fear, worry, anxiety, competition, and other thoughts planted by the adversary, or just inherent to the natural man, I am robbing myself of feeling the peace, joy, and love of the Savior that I could be enjoying in this life, if I would keep my eye single to His glory, and constrain my concern to whether or not my sacrifice is acceptable to Him.  Because He sees all, and keeps things in the proper frame.  He understands me perfectly, and I am so grateful that it is His judgement of me that will stand at the last day, and not my own.

Two different voices speak constantly in our heads.  No man can serve two masters.  And the wolf that lives, is the one you feed.

I don't know what the widow was thinking on that day as she cast in her two mites.  But I hope it was the latter.  I hope she knew her worth as a faithful daughter of God.  I hope she saw love in the face of her Savior, and not the sneer of her peers.  I hope she recognized the magnitude of her contribution. Because I believe, as she tossed in her two mites, she showed unfaltering strength and trust in the Lord, manifesting the widow's true might.

Out of the Mouth of Babes: Big Jesus Too

I had a great time with kiddo today at her gymnastics class, her mom told her I would be coming to watch, and she said, "like a show?" - yep cutie, like a show.  She was super excited to jump on the trampoline and show me that she could put her hands on the ground and her legs up on the wall - I had asked her, "can you do that?!" during the demonstration, and she said, "YEP!" :o)

On the drive to grammy's house after gymnastics, I tried to engage her in conversation - and somehow we ended up talking about who loved her (it probably started with my shameless attempt to get her to say she loves me, which she hasn't done yet):

"Does daddy love you?"
~ yep

"Does mommy love you?"
~ yep

"Does [Papa, Grammy, Tyler, TT, Kelsey, Kaitlin, etc.] love you?"
~ yep

 "Do you know who loves you most of all?"
~ blank stare...

"Jesus! Jesus loves you more than anyone else."
~ baby desus wubs me?

"Yes, baby Jesus loves you."
~ big desus too!

"Yes, big Jesus loves you too!"

Awww, I had to document that conversation.  I love this two-year-old kiddo, her matter-of-fact answers, that she is certain in her knowledge of her family loving her, and that baby Jesus and big Jesus, in her mind, are apparently two different people... :o)

Really old pic from Christmas - but she's sooo cute!!

Booking Our Trip: The Emerald Isle

Well, after years and years of saying we'd go to Ireland to do family history and see the land of our ancestors... it's finally happening!  The plan was to go last year, but April or September were the times I wanted to go, and it didn't work out (although mom finally did get her passport in anticipation!).  My work schedule was tough, and we kept thinking we needed to do more family history work, and get it all organized before going, and that wasn't happening.

So this year, near the end of January I had this strong feeling that if we were going to go in April, now was the time to decide.  And to forget trying to be perfectionist-y about family history - just go and see the land where our people lived, for the experience.  I went to mom's house and we looked at dates, I looked for flights using dad's United miles, and nothing felt right, once again, so many options and I wasn't getting anywhere.  With one last ditch effort before giving up and going home, I Googled SFO to Dublin on the dates in April I was looking at, and a $500 round trip United ticket popped up.  What?!  I went to United's website and it was actually legit.  It worked, felt right, and the next day I booked our tickets - we were finally going!  I booked the car rental as well, since I needed an automatic, and wanted to get that request in ASAP.

For the next several months, craziness at work ensued, along with many social obligations, and church responsibilities (and mom had all sorts of crazy going on at her house to deal with too... not the least of which was busted sewer pipes, and re-plumbing the entire house) so planning the rest of the trip didn't happen until a few weeks before we were leaving.  It was kinda surreal - is this really happening??  I was stressed out and mind-boggled not knowing where to go, or what to see, trying to gather the locations and addresses I did have, when the inspired thought came to me to put it all on a Google map, so that's what I did:

Touristy stuff I wanted to see I put in one color, our family history addresses in another, optional points of interest, family history libraries, castles of note got their own colors, and where to go to church on Sunday (that had an actual ward with a chapel building, not a branch in some random store we'd probably never find).  And out of that a pattern began to emerge - we'd start at Dublin, go counter-clockwise around the country and stick to the top half for the 7 days we were there.  This I could work with.

Lodging, where we would stay was the biggest hurdle.  Everyone raved about Airbnb, so I thought we'd try that out.  But what nights and where?  How long to stay at each place?  How it worked, how to communicate in a foreign country with strangers, was it safe?  And then mom and I had different ideas of how long to stay at each place - she felt strongly connected to where her grandmother came from (since she'd heard stories from her mother of her visit there as a small child), and I felt like we should spend more time up where her grandfather came from.

I made the final decisions, and booked a castle hotel the first night ('cause you gotta stay in a castle at least one night!), 3-nights at a traditional Irish cottage in Donegal (which meant extra driving back to church, but less time spent checking in), and 2-nights at a seaside house in Wesrport.  With the last night left open, as we just needed a place to crash in Dublin by the airport - and Travelodge was the likely winner.  With those reservations completed, the trip was planned, and for better or worse the responsibility of it landed on me... but the pieces fell into place, and I felt at peace.  And completely stressed out at the same time - I mean being the senior traveler in a foreign country with someone who has never left the USA before, and having to drive on the wrong side of the road all week, who does that!?! :o)