CFM: Matt 1 & Luke 1 ~ Leaving the "How" to God

January 7–13. Matthew 1; Luke 1: ‘Be It unto Me according to Thy Word’

My great and wise friend Beckee, in multiple deep discussions about our lives, would say to me that we just need to leave the "how" up to God.  I've pondered that concept for years.  Can I have enough faith and confidence to trust God with the "how" in my life?  Frankly, not really.

When I see a magic trick, I immediately want to know how it was done, I try to figure it out.  And when I am promised a miracle in my own life, I start mentally running through the scenarios of how it might happen and where each road could lead, and then often will turn to despair when I can't picture a single possibility.

{Side note to self: definition of miracle = a seemingly impossible task, so give God some credit already}

Spending time this week thinking about the "how" in life wasn't anything new to me - but what was new was realizing that the virgin Mary and the priest Zacharais when presented with an angel and a promised miracle in their own lives, both asked the exact same question: HOW will this be done?

And the real shocker to me was, they each got a DIFFERENT ANSWER.

(Note: Some people have the opinion, or perhaps rationalization, that this is a matter of semantics - how can this be? & whereby shall I know this? - really weren't the same question, but for the purpose of my post I'm assuming they are.)

WHY?  Why would God give one how? the answer - the method by which the miracle would take place, and yet answer the other how? with a seeming punishment - struck dumb for disbelief.

I am a very logical, analytical thinker, and this does not make sense. God is no respecter of persons.

So what is the difference?

Which was the greater miracle? to conceive a child as a young virgin? or an old married post-menopausal woman?  The former, impossible, the latter, improbable.  Was is the degree of miraculous-ness that prompted the difference in response?

Or was it due to age and experience?  An optimistic, innocent, pure youth?  Or an old man with a long life of unfulfilled blessings, a man who had seen the ways of the world, yet was righteous and serving in the temple?

Was it the condition of the heart?  Did she have an open heart of wonder and awe?  Did he have a heart hardened with the hesitation to hope?

Or did it simply serve the Lord's purpose for Zacharias to be dumb - that all around him would also recognize the miracle, that otherwise the birth of John the Baptist may have been seen as simply improbable and forgettable?

I don't know the answers.  Perhaps it's simply a testament that we have a Heavenly Father who gives unique and personal responses to all His children, even when they ask Him the same question.

But I appreciate that I can relate to both scenarios, being young and full faith, believing immediately that the Lord would fulfill His promises, and then decades later when life and experience have worn me down, to be wary of believing, to react in anxiety, to not want to hurt again when the promise was postponed. 

And what I LOVE about this, is that Zacharias' skepticism did not prevent the miracle.  The angel didn't say, you didn't believe without proof, so it's not going to happen.  I love that God will keep his promises, even if I don't have the full capacity to believe Him in the moment, when I just have the desire: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

I think perhaps then that our doubts, and skepticism, and slow to believe moments, don't ever prevent the Lord's miracles in our lives - they perhaps just make things harder for us in the meantime.  And there is beauty in that, where God has shown He can turn even our hesitation and struggle into a witness and a blessing for others to recognize the miracles in our lives.

So by holding on to my human understanding, but desiring to believe, I don't forfeit the miracle or the promised blessing, sometimes I simply make things harder for myself in the short term.  I'm ok with that, sometimes doubting in faith is all I can muster.

And God somehow makes even that work together for my good.

I'll close with a quote I love, from President Uchtdorf, "Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us. It is our fear, doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us."

So instead of constantly trying to figure out how God is going to fulfill His miracles and promises in my life, I'm trying to shift my focus to figuring out HOW to close my umbrella.  :)