I think [too much], therefore I am [me]

So, today my sister and I were discussing the preparation, effort, and focus required to generate conversation for those of us not naturally possessing the gift of gab, and I was reminded of the fact that I live too much inside my head.  Seriously, whether it’s daydreaming, planning, pondering, appreciating, figuring, or just plain thinking – I’ve spent too much of my life observing the world and not enough experiencing it.  And to all the people I have inadvertently ignored as a result of my oblivion – I apologize! 

True story – in 5^th or 6^th grade my mom was driving for my school field trip.  I sat in the seat behind her and one of my friends sat next to me.  I happily settled in for the ride, creating a long daydream and staring blankly out the window.  But then my friend started asking me questions - repeatedly.  I gave short answers, so I could get back to whatever it was I was thinking about as quickly as possible, and was relieved when she finally stopped talking.  My mother later lectured me on how rude I was to my friend in giving one word answers… what?!  I had no clue what my mom was talking about.  I wasn’t rude, I answered all her questions – my friend was the rude one, she’s the one who kept interrupting my thoughts!  Haha, I remember quite distinctly thinking this, and being angry, wounded, and upset - all because my mother didn’t understand me.

Alas, poor mom… these many years later, for what it’s worth – thanks for trying!  You did make a lasting impression.  Sorry I didn’t see then, or understand at the time that not everyone is content with just their own company.  Oh well.  Too bad the awareness of my problem doesn't solve it - I'm still looking for the magic cure for my massive fear of "small talk."  Here's hoping for the day when I finally figure out how to get out of my head and focus on conversing with my peers without fear!